parent and teach safe kids

Is Your Child a Free Range Child? Were you one?


Years before she became a celebrated speaker, author Lenore Skenazy learned that I was writing about teaching safety, and actually wrote and called me, or maybe I called her…can’t remember…. She was in a hot debate
As the World’s Worst Mom for letting her son take the New York Subway alone.

Since then I have stayed in communication with her, not always agreeing but totally supportive of the outcome we both believe in, empowered healthy kids, who know how to take care of themselves, given basic safety guidance.

We both believe that it is the parents who have become afraid, and then affected their children with the same fears. It reminds me of the parents of students I had over the years
Who were not allowed to have pets, because they could bite or scratch them.

Things I worry about.
Children sitting in front of a screen, your pick, tv, iPad, computer, video game, etc.
Children not playing in a group, riding bikes, running around with squirt guns, and water balloons, and basically laying outside, until they are really tired.
How many of us played outside? How many obese kids did you know who played outside?

I went to camp for 3 months , a whopping three thousand miles from home, when I was 8,9, 10 and 11. There was some supervision you bet, but I was not under constant surveillance. I learned to swim, ride a horse, raise a calf, feed the cows, new games, adventure, learned to Bail hay, camped and sang around a campfire…made homemade peach ice cream…picked blue berries in the White Mountains…..the best summers of my life.

I was always hungry at supper time , always happily tired at night and skinny as a rail.
I never once felt unsafe or afraid.

Even at home, we always played till dark or until our Mom whistled.

So why am I telling you all this?
I wrote a book to teach children how to be alert to behaviors, what to do if faced with bad behavior and what I had hoped to gain is empowerment for parents as well as children.

I have not seen the study Lenore discusses, with Forty year low in kidnappings,
But safety is so much more than that. It is teaching kids common sense and resourcefulness.
Think about the girl and boyscouts. Don’t they end up earning badges in being resourceful?
Knowing what to do when faced with situations, commonly called, life?

Yes, there will always be bad behavior with humans, from the playground to the grave.
But keeping a child locked up, or in a parade of careful scheduled activities is not the answer.

When you give my book, WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?, 20131228-075925.jpgto a teacher, a new parent for a baby shower, to a friend, you are not just hoping to help their children become safe people, but the actual teaching of the kids then allows that parent to allow their child to become “Free Range.”
If parents each felt they have helped to develop a child into an empowered
Human being, you will see more children, emerging from their air conditioned homes,
Asking each other to go and play!



A summertime suggestion.

Discuss the following with your child.

Are you feeling safe here at home, happy, calm? Not worried?  That is a green light sort of feeling.  It is a feeling  that if you were just hanging out, playing a game, reading or listening with two earbuds you would feel safe.

So then when we are out and about is that green light? No, that is Yellow Light!

When you are out in the world it is your job to pay attention.

Use the lighthouse walk pg.46

Drop an earbud, you can be safe and have sound….

When suddenly faced  with a situation, calmly use the safety plan you have in place and

Say no to the situation, leave or break away as necessary, get to a safe adult and Tell!

Rehearse, practice…..every child loves to scream “no!” on cue and practice break-aways

Use pages 41, 43 and 63 for these practice sessions.

Use everyday news to discuss how children handled situations successfully.

Always reassure your child that they have the power to help and save themselves if they ever need to, and  that you will always be there to believe them.

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A parent’s perspective- SAFETY FOR ALL CHILDREN

Book Forwards

We pray that children never have to face abduction, abuse or exploitation. We couldn’t imagine that our children Would really have to faceabductors for, make decisions, and take actions that saved their lives. But they did, we believe that the prior discussions in our home and school empowered our children to recognize danger and fight for their lives.  What Should You Do? Provides you with a tremendous tool to stimulate the discussion and planning that will empower your child.

John and Laurie Smith Proud parents of Kaidan and Mickenzie Smith 2006 National NCMEC Courage Award Recipient

Mickenzie’s story and the stories of other young heroes are used throughout the book to give children inspiring examples of  Young people becoming super,safety heroes, in the event that their safety education is needed.

What Should You Do? Helping Children Protect Themselves In the Twenty-First Century. Tate Publishing 2010 Available on Amazon , paperback includes an  automatic audio download, pics can be used for teachers with an overhead projector.  Ebook also available.

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Sandusky Guilty, Obviously! 45 Of 48 Counts!

Let this be a lesson to victims.  You DO have a voice , good people are everywhere and will believe you!